Do our families support our lifestyle? | Polyamory with a Baby

Pubblicato il 20 giu 2019
We get a lot of questions asking about our families and if they support our non-traditional lifestyle. We just had some family visit to be around Ilya, our 1 month old child, so this is a perfect time to share our reflections.
INSTAGRAM: instagram.com/conorandbrittany/
LIFESTYLE & FAMILY CHANNEL: it-tvs.com/ch/UCCEyHtoV-ZvunxYDLCjhZvg
BECOME A MEMBER: conorandbrittany.com/members/
And get access to videos featuring raw processing, tools for self growth, and a more in-depth behind-the-sceens look into our relationship. We also offer monthly exercises, discounts, access to purchasable sex ed videos, photo galleries, and more!
SEX EDUCATION: conorandbrittany.com/sex-ed/
Explore sex ed up close and personal with Conor + Brittany
CREATING EPIC RELATIONSHIPS: conorandbrittany.com/creating-epic-relationships/
Take your life, your relationship with yourself, your Check out our program!
OUR PREGNANCY AND BIRTH Q&A and RESOURCES: conorandbrittany.com/pregnancy-and-birth/
BRITT'S PREGNANCY PODCAST:
itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/lets-get-real/id1441267658?mt=2
COACHING
conorandbrittany.com/coaching/
RECOMMENDED PRODUCTS: conorandbrittany.com/recommended-products/
JOINT INSTAGRAM: instagram.com/conorandbrittany/
BRITT INSTA: instagram.com/simpleliving13/
CONOR INSTA: instagram.com/thrivingminimalist/
FACEBOOK FAN PAGE: facebook.com/conorandbrittany
FACEBOOK COMMUNITY: facebook.com/groups/inspiringauthenticrelationships/
Inspiring Authentic Relationships Facebook Community Here:
WEBSITE: conorandbrittany.com/
DESCRIPTION
On this channel we come together to share about our relationship with one another and the relationships we share with others. We love relating with all kinds of people, having non-traditional connections and sharing our experiences with the world. Some themes on this channel are sex education, compassionate communication, playfulness, authentic "no labels" relationships, freedom, love, and empowering viewers to tap into and follow what feels right for them.
We feel excited and inspired by the way we connect with the world and live our lives. We hope to inspire you to create your own unique, authentic connections and ultimately, to live the life of your dreams.
If you are interested in polyamory, open relationships, non-monogamy, and non-traditional relationships...or if you are interested in monogamy, deepening your connection with your partner and in general pursuing more authentic connections both with yourself and others, we think you will find value here.
Connect with us on our individual sites and channels here:
Brittany's Website: www.simplelivingandtravel.com/
Conor's Website: conormcmillen.com/
Brittany Taylor's IT-tvs Channel: it-tvs.com/username-sophiefire13
Conor McMillen's IT-tvs Channel: it-tvs.com/ch/UCfRIrEykNPOnNIEovgYnvLg

Commenti

  • Q&A - What formal education do the both of you have. Have either one of you been legally married before? And will you legally marry each other at some point?

  • Beautiful video! ❤

  • "Oh yeah that kinda makes sense for you"- felt that in my soul. Pretty much my friend's response to most things I do. Lol.

  • I love how much you love each other. I just personally need my partner to be sexually monogamous to me, and he needs the same from me. I couldn’t imagine sharing such an intimate experience with another person. It must take immense self control to not feel devastating heartbreak when your partner wants someone else ☹️

  • I wish my family could be accepting and not try to control me. Never being good enough in their eyes really takes a toll. Watching your videos help me be a person I’ve never experienced. So my kids will never have to feel the way I do.

  • Brigetd????? Spelling incorrect im sure but it has to be bridgette! Right?? Lol xoxoxo

  • Just curious if you are going to Fruit Fest in NY next month with the baby? If so, how will you travel there? Thanks, Kari

  • I am totally traditional love everything about it. I am a follower of Christ😀 I enjoy your videos.. I want to learn and listen to others . We might see eye to eye but just to see others live is interesting

  • thank you beautifuls.. I love you.. you're amazing.. lots of love and appreciation..

  • I have dealt with the "I don't understand how that works for you / resonates with you" comments a lot while sharing about my "alternative" practices and approaches to life. Yet, many people also appear fascinated and want to hear more about it. I don't think it's anything to take to heart that someone might not immediately understand where you are coming from if you live your life in an "unusual" manner. There are differences in reference points, after all. For me, it has been beneficial to recognize that the other person has their individual references points which might not always align with mine.

  • you guys are great! thank you!

  • "We've been weird for a long time" 😂😂😂😂 I love that quote! 💜💃

  • We're a non-traditional family (not in the exact ways you're non-traditional), but we can definitely relate. We sold everything to travel full-time with our toddler, and while most of our friends and family were excited for us, we did get a lot of negative responses. I think them knowing that we're also non-traditional in other senses helped as well. P.s. we make weekly family travel videos over on our channel if anyone wants to see!

  • You saying hello beautiful people made me feel good about myself. Even though you don’t talk to me personally, it really moved me and brought tears to my eyes.

  • I love this!! This video had such a relaxed and postive atmosphere. You guys really inspire me.

  • Do you have a main partner and the others are secondary¿ what are the differences?

  • These two are so creepy it gives me chills

  • I wish we could meet some of the partners to get a more glimpse into the different dynamics and ways they interact with each persons personality and perspectives. I think that would be really neat to see and beautiful. But I definitely respect the privacy aspect of it all as well.

    • We totally understand the curiosity and are maybe thinking about including this type of content on our membership site.

  • I just want to say, your family doesn't have to understand. Mine doesn't understand my traditional choices anymore than they would understand my untraditional choices. They are going to have something to say regardless, whether they agree/disagree or support you. Thats how family is. 💝 They can support without agreeing or understanding and thats what people don't necessarily see!

  • I always feel so calm and accepted when I watch your videos, thank you. I love watching how you both listen to each other and take turns hearing each other then talking. Your communication skills are absolutely beautiful.

    • Aww we appreciate you Joe! <3

    • Joe Ling there is something quite soothing about listening to them communicate with each other!

  • I personally watch your videos and have become a member to your website because as someone who is very traditional, I find you both very interesting and non-judgemental of others. I think you and many others are helping me learn something very important which is to change the way I view things. Instead of being completely against things and judging others, I am now thinking things like "Its not something that's personally for me, but its okay if others do it." I am your ordinary straight woman who is monogamous. I have always been pro LGBTQ+ but I have struggled more with polyamory and non-binary stuff. I continue to open my eyes to many other lifestyles. When I bring a child into the world, I want them to know they can be whoever they want to be. My boyfriend is on the exact same page as he is bisexual and did not get the most kind reaction from his dad. You are both such kind hearted people.

    • This is so sweet <3 We love you and love that our videos could have this kind of impact. Thanks so much for sharing this!

  • Are they still vegan?

  • I gave birth almost 11 weeks ago now, an unmediated water birth like you two. And I love watching your channel to help re centre myself and take me back to ‘basics’ of what’s important. I have no clue why but I find you both so encouraging and you display so much love and positivity. We aren’t raising our child without a labelled gender but so she knows she can express herself how she may please whenever she feels right x

  • Ilija is so beautiful. If love were a person that’s what it would look like :)

  • 03:37 :D ...what a smooth, superfast move! :D

  • I'd love to see y'alls baby photos and who you think Ilya looks like more, a mini Conor or a mini brit or a perfectly blend of you both!also would love to know how your other partners reacted when they first seen Ilya and how they have been helping with them! Polyamory isn't for me anymore but I love love, and dont really specify under a specific label but i guess if you did it would be pansexual. But i have been in a polyamorous relationship in my passed and unfortunately didn't work out do to everyone not being in a good head space. But yall are amazing people and its amazing seeing the good side of a polyamorous relationships!

    • Aww thanks so much Haley! This is such a great idea. That sounds like so much fun to compare baby photos. One of our partners has been an amazing support, making us delicious food and tinctures. <3

  • Off topic: did ya’ll ever post your birth vlog? Because I’ve literally been checking for that for like 100 years and I haven’t seen it and I’m super sad. Lol.

    • Not yet, but a podcast version of the birth story is live! Just search for "Let's Get Real" podcast by Brittany Taylor. Birth vlog coming soon!

  • You guys speak so well. I love watching your videos and bringing us into your lives. Your channel has opened my mind up to many things. And I have a greater understanding of how others live their lives (which is different than mine). And that's totally cool.

  • I would say that this has been one of my favorite videos of yours so far. Thanks for sharing🌟🌙🌏

  • You two area. Shining example of love and acceptance. I truly hooe that we all learn something from you both. Thank you always for sharing.

  • Yes. The way we go about things is EVERYTHING! Yes!!!!!! That's exactly it! Communication is the key--true COMMUNICATION. And there is nothing wrong with NOT telling "family" everything. Just because they are biologically family doesn't mean you have to share everything. The place I was born into my family puts me as such a huge generational gap and we weren't raised "together" much. My 2 eldest siblings had moved out to other states when I was still a very small child and they really didn't communicate back with our parents so I have so very little in common with them than I do my "immediate" elder sibling (9year age gap) who moved out of the house but just moved into the house next door and remained close to the base family even after marriage he was only a few blocks away and visited often. We have a deep bond and lots in common. Even though age-wise he is closer generationally to the other 2 siblings he has very little in common with them and there isn't much relationship with them. With that neither of us share many intimate details of our lives with them. And that's ok. We don't need to. My family and I recently did a huge shift in living locations and domiciles. We really told no one about it outside the immediate core family. Because NO ONE ELSE needed to know. It was not something they needed to have access to. Here's our new address for sending cards and letters and that's it. You need nothing more than that. It's not THEIR lives but ours. We didn't go about it like huge super secret--because we don't want their judgements (which no we don't)--we went about it in the vain of THIS is what is BEST for OUR CORE family and OUR foundation and OUR relationship we do not need to include anyone else in it. Did they have their "opinions", yep. Did they express those "opinions", passively yes and our response was to only express the positive this change is bringing us and welcome them to celebrate that with us or to ignore us and live all our lives in peace. And I have to giggle at Brittany being all half naked! I breastfed 5 children (a set of twins in that mix!) and yeah it was "Ya know what--what's the point of being clothed anyhow--I'm just gonna be lifting my shirt every other hour anyways" I just had to remember to put clothes on when left the house--which sometimes almost didn't happen. My older kids were like "MOM PUT ON A SHIRT FIRST!!" Yeah and you guys go around pantless all the time so..... Fun times.

  • Do yall have the urge to eat your baby because they are just so precious all you can do to handle it is eat them? Just me? Ok cool... some how my children have remained uneaten, but it's a daily struggle.

    • @Amelie Says Hola yes! And it's real! I just want to bite my kids because I cant process how much I love them so I want to eat them. Being an animal is hard work!

    • TheOtherSideOfAlex haha there’s a name for this! It was coined a few years ago, “cute aggression.”

  • I agree so much with what yall are saying, I have people in my life that I choose to support them and sometimes that means supporting things or ideas I don't share with them. I find it easier for me to understand differing lifestyles than a lot of people I know, but I also get how it's hard for people to understand things they don't relate to.

  • This has nothing to do w this video. Just wanted you to know that your message is so important. You and me, our lives, are so dissimilar. Our lifestyles are so different in so many ways. However, I get so much knowledge from your videos. Thank you for your time, energy, and knowledge. Keep up the great work.

  • I love your videos guys! They are so eye opening & interesting. I love your point of being able to disagree with someone or having different opinions than someone without any hostility or judgement. I think I’m in the same spot as your parents, Conor, with polyamory. I’ve never experienced it or seen any examples of it in my life but I LOVE learning about your lifestyle and views on things. I appreciate your authenticity!

  • Would be really interesting to have testimonies of your other partners, or a discussion about polyamory with someone around you! But I would totally understand if you don't want to share this intimate part of your life.

    • We totally understand the desire to see this part of our life but we explain in this video why we don't make videos with other lovers: it-tvs.com/tv/video-Ma2gQFcsXN0.html Thanks for your curiosity!

  • Thanks for sharing. I really resonate with so many things that you guys do and your choices. :) One thing I wanted to ask was how you will approach Ilya's privacy - this is something I've been navigating, and for me, it feels important that children's privacies are respected when it comes to online content. Wondering what your thoughts are on this? x

  • i find you guys so inspiring. i live my life in a way that is NOTHING like yours, but i can just feel how well your lifestyle works for you, and that makes me so happy to have the opportunity to see and watch. in a lot of ways i hope to be able to live in as calm and healthy a way as you are able to. so thanks so much for giving us a peek into your lives.

  • This was so good to hear! Thank you both for sharing this. My husband and I have been open for a few years. It’s something that just works for us. It feels best for us. But most of our friends and family are very conservative. The idea that we are open usually disgusts and disturbs people. They get genuinely bothered or almost seem personally offended. We have a few people who accept us and that feels great. But as you mentioned, if it doesn’t feel good and safe for us to share, we normally don’t. I hope we do find more and more people over time who are more accepting, because that definitely feels better.

    • We hope you find that too! Glad you are able to honor your own boundaries about not sharing when it doesn't feel good. xoxo

  • Not related to your video but I was wondering during your pregnancy you didnt receive any medical care. If Ilya or any of you really ever seemed unwell or not themself would you see a medical dr in any setting that may be? Or would you try natural home healing. For instance I had sepsis after my son was born and and we weren't sure if baby had it as well I'm thinking if you had any signs of illness like the shakes temperature flu like symptoms (using my example of sepsis symptoms) would you wait it put or get seen as with some illness time is key to treatment? Generally curious as I know you like to live you life on tune with your body and nature and go with what feels right for your family xx

  • Ilya is one lucky child to know that they could come to you with any issue gender identity, relationships etc etc and you will support them no matter what even if you have fears or reservation you will support through love and as much understanding as you can

  • You showed love you'll get love in return.

  • This couple....such an example of how important simple communication can be. Brittany, you look so sweetly beautiful holding your baby....I'm Atheist, but it reminded me of a Madonna. :)

  • I loved the message in this video as much as seeing you as parents for the first time

  • even tho I don't really understand ur lifestyle I love the kind of people u both are, how genuine, pure hearted, supportive, loving and understanding u both are and we need more people like u both in this world!! God bless ur beautiful family..🙏🏻🙏🏻

  • Do you guys feel that if you both or one of you had a traditional outside of the home job it would drastically change your perceptions of each other and the time with each other and apart? Resentments? Exaughstion? Etc I feel like if most couples could live the lifestyle you do (even monogamous couples) it would erase the common anger or hurt or resentful issues many relationships face. My husband and I always say we wish we could live off grid and just be with each other and have no outside influences....

  • You guys swaying side to side together.....❤❤❤❤❤

  • I just had a baby at the beginning of this month and I don’t have any family I stumbled upon you guys and felt at home...so much spoke with me so thank you for that. It makes me feel I’ll be okay with my new daughter. I’m always afraid to be myself so thank you for inspiration

    • Congrats love on your new baby <3 <3 We're so so happy that our videos can bring you comfort.

  • Thank you for sharing about this. I wondered how supportive your family was and it was awesome to hear about the love and support. You two are so loving, caring and conscious of everyone else that it’s so good to know that you are surrounded by similar things. 😍 On another note I can barely stand that little soft baby head poking out. Haha! It makes me feel like sniffing Illys and my 5 year olds head. 😊. You two look so happy and I find you both so attractive since you have become parents! I found you sexy and attractive before of course but now it’s deeper. ❤️

  • “We’ve been weird for a long time”-can relate.😂

  • Can feel the love in this video.

  • Great content ❤️ love u two

  • Unrelated to this topic, but I'm really curious about how Brittany's diet has been impacted with breastfeeding. Do you find yourself wanting to eat differently or having cravings?

    • Thanks for asking! I'm still craving pretty simple foods and still loving melon season. <3

  • Has either of you ever felt judge-y about anything or anyone? I love how Conor mentioned that even if someone offers their experience, or say, way of doing something that feels great for them and he doesn't really agree (is that accurate? I'm paraphrasing, and it's been a few hours since I watched this; I've been mulling it all over) he can still rejoin with support for that person. But what I wonder is...did either of you ever experience a time/times in your lives where you ever thought, 'what a dumbass'? Maybe you talk about this in a deeper or more personal way on your website with raw processing and membership. I know when I think things such as, 'why on earth would that person do x/y/z? so lame!' it's because I'm feeling pretty insecure and judgmental and blaming towards myself. The times/moments when I let all that sh!t go (stop trying to blame or control, mostly laying trips on myself or re-enacting trips from days of yore, etc.) is when I really don't pass judgies on other people. I really believe that you two are in constant communication with yourselves, checking in, in touch with the mutability of experience and what feels right in any moment; also constructing a foundation for what feels right overall (love, basically!). So when you say to your audience that you love us, and that you want us to do what feels right for us, and that you want to support us - I really freakin' feel that! Which is amazing! And it contributes to a much kinder, and curious, way that I explore the relationship with myself. Thank you! (love this video) xoxo

    • Aw so glad that this is coming through in our videos. We really do feel that <3 As far as judgement goes, we can't say it never comes up. But we're always growing and learning and doing our best. That's what is important to us. xoxo

    • and p.s. it's also been such a valuable learning experience for me to watch your IT-tvs videos and observe how I respond, and to know you through this medium by virtue of how open you are about everything. Whenever I've felt a tremor of apprehension, if I sit with it I realize fundamentally, I want you all to be safe and healthy/flourishing (however that might look and be optimal for you). I can't ever know what's best for you, and I've always loved how you emphasize that each person knows what is best for themselves. It's fascinating too, and not a big surprise considering how much you put out there for public 'consumption' (ugh maybe a bad choice of words) -- how much controversy results! How much people want to tell other people what to do lol...what the hell! That's more about us feeling comfortable than what the other person is needing. Anyway. Lots of mental gnoshing to relish here.

  • Hope you guys enjoyed your family time, I know how exhausting the first few weeks are with all the visitors and people wanting to meet the new baby on top of everything else! I always enjoy listening to you guys talk.

  • Beautiful beings! I have a very random question! Do you wear sunscreen? I am pale, with freckles, and I burn so easily! I try to put more natural things in my body, so I am wondering if you tend to wear sunscreen in the Texas heat! 💛

    • We don't like wearing sunscreen so we do our best to protect our skin through staying in the shade, staying in the sun for shorter periods, or going outside when the sun is at it's weakest.

  • Id love to hear your perspective on your child being online- their privacy, consent ect. And whats guiding you in making content related to sharing about Ilya. All love

    • We have thought about this a lot and we may address this in a video someday when it feels right.